A civil or independent celebrant works on services and ceremonies without a strong religious theme. Where a person had a faith, their funeral service will usually be faith-based and led by a religious official like a minister, Rabbi or Imam. A civil or independent celebrant focuses on the life, spirit, nature and legacy of the person who has died, rather than their faith or the afterlife. While faith isn't a strong theme in my services, I am sometimes asked to include a religious hymn or song, or a prayer. For many, a civil or independent celebrant offers the most flexible approach to planning a unique service or ceremony.
The role of the celebrant is to create the memorial or funeral service you want and to support you towards it and through it. My main role is to get to know the person who has died, the life they lived, what they brought to the world and the people around them, and to use this insight to shape the funeral or memorial service. I’m also here to listen to how you want the service to be, any musical choices, readings, gestures or acts or special touches that will make this the best way to mark the end of this life. I'll work with your funeral director or undertaker to co-ordinate plans to ensure all goes smoothly on the day, and for the duration of the service, you are in my care. A celebrant's role balances patience, listening, creativity, communication, reassurance and gentle leadership.
The standard funeral service has been largely unchanged in a century. But social expectations around behaviour, faith and our approach to death and loss have changed. Even if you choose a traditional cremation, with a service in the crematorium chapel, for the 40 minutes the chapel is yours, we can create a service that fits your person, not tradition. It has to be practical – and 40 minutes is not long – but between words, music, actions and gestures, rituals, readings, singing, photos and more we can shape something perfect. I believe that in the time and space of the service we create a little community focused on reflecting on and honouring a life. It should also give everyone something to take away that will help them into and through grief. It’s really important that it’s yours, whatever form that takes.
Your funeral director will often make a recommendation, based on who is available but they will also have thought about who will work well with you and your family. You can also choose your own, independently, and tell your funeral director who you would like to work with to plan and take the funeral service. It's worth speaking to a couple and seeing who you 'click' with - they should be happy to talk speculatively to help you make the right choice. Ask about their approach and experience and see what sense you get from them: will this be someone you can relax with and talk to? Will they help you feel looked after and supported? Will they listen and hear what you really want? These choices are often down to instinct and in this case, who you instinctively feel you could trust to take on this role.
I’ve spent my working life listening and crafting words, working in the creative industries before becoming a funeral celebrant, inspired by the work I did for cancer charities, hospices and the people they supported towards the end of life. Those I’ve worked with say they enjoyed how I gave them time and patience, supported them to play a part, reassured them, chose the right words and led them through their farewell. I have always worked with the skills that come naturally to me – care, communication, creativity and a natural, gentle leadership. I focus my skills on doing what I think matters most – crafting a moment that serves our dead person well, reflects on them truthfully and does them justice. It should also serve you and others – a good service can create a powerful memory and moment in loss that in time, brings some comfort.
You don't have to have a celebrant. Most people will choose to have a funeral celebrant because they take on the burden of planning and delivering the service, and dealing with death and bereavement is challenging enough. But, there is nothing to stop you taking on the memorial or funeral service as a family and friends and without a celebrant. You also have the option of working with a celebrant and playing a greater role in leading on how the service plays out, delivering large sections yourselves and using the celebrant as something of a 'compere'. There is real flexibility in how this works, and it can all be discussed and agreed at the outset.
The role you play on the day of the memorial or funeral service is completely up to you. You might want to prepare a eulogy (a tribute to the person who has died), or read a poem or passage that means something, or write and read your own. You might want to do something, like placing flowers, or laying hands on the coffin during parts of the service. Your involvement is your choice and I'll support you to contribute however you want, or not - lots of people simply want to be there and to get through. You'll be supported whatever you choose.
Yes - if you want I will share the service 'script' so you can input to it or make changes. Not everyone does want to do this - again, it's up to you. Some people either have enough to be getting on with, or they want to experience the funeral service fresh on the day. If you would prefer not to see it, I can simply 'fact check' with you to ensure that I've got the details of your person and their story right, and I can check through the planned 'order of events' for the service, without sharing the whole script.
Memorial services usually happen some time after a burial or cremation. They are increasingly popular as people choose a 'simple cremation' to dispose of the body, and then plan a memorial for a later date, when the ashes may be scattered or interred. Equally, people might choose a memorial if they have not had the time or emotional energy to make the funeral service what they wanted. The beauty of a memorial is that it can be wherever and whenever you choose, and it can take whatever form you'd like. It might be a night in the pub with a handful of speeches, or some simple story-sharing; it could be an informal service or ceremony on a hilltop, somewhere that meant something to that person; maybe it's shaped around the scattering of ashes, or the anniversary of someone's death, or their birthday. You can do this with or without a celebrant, but I can be involved to help plan and shape an event and lead it where needed on the day.
The Funeral Celebrant Accord is an informal 'code' that reassures people that their celebrant is signed up to taking their role seriously. They pledge to be professional, caring, calm natural leaders who will spend time getting to know someone so they can really personalise their service. I'm singed up to it, and you can find out more here by reading the full Accord.
Costs vary depending on what is needed. The cost of a funeral celebrant is usually included in pre-paid funeral plans. Contracted directly my costs for a memorial or funeral service begin at £250.